Add To Your List [Seer Crawl day 48]

A few paragraphs at a time. It’s is how I have been reading books lately.  Maybe a page or two. To really read and not just consume. Recently, I decided to re-read my book in the same manner. So, your thought to ponder today from The Seer.  Day 48. [all material from the book appears in italics]:

 

Me: This seems…overwhelming.

Virgil: Start simply. Begin with a sheet of paper. Draw a line down the center of the paper. On one side at the top write: “Things I can control.” On the other side, write: “Things I need to let go.” Add to your list every day and soon you will clearly see what is within your control and what is not.

31.

I went to the coffee house to do the exercise Virgil suggested. It quickly became very clear that there are not many things that I can control. For instance, I can’t control what other people think or feel or believe. This was the big revelation. At the table next to me I heard a woman say, “I don’t want him to think I’m a bad person.”

How much time have I invested in my life in the idea that I can determine what another person thinks? Too much! How often have I said, “I don’t want them to think that I…,” or “I don’t want them to feel….”

I was beginning to see the true value of this exercise: my emotional, mental and physical health is invested in something over which I have no control. No wonder I’m stressed all the time. No wonder we fall into the “things happen to me” story! My energy is wasted if I am trying to control another person’s thoughts or feelings.

 

 

 

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Walk Toward It [Seer Crawl day 18]

cropped-curvy-lines.jpgYour thought to ponder for today: a slow read through THE SEER. Day 18. [all material from the book appears in italics]:

I scribbled this note on the yellow pad next to my computer:

Words matter. A problem exists like an island in isolation. It is mechanistic thinking. Call it a problem and you will assume that you know a solution: cause and effect – and all you can do is fix or solve. There is an end. A pattern reveals connections. It is dynamic and reveals structure, composition, and design. Call it a pattern and you will assume that you don’t know because there is no end to the improvements you can see – it extends into the future beyond the vanishing point. The best you can do is walk toward it.

The 9 Recognitions of THE SEER serve as the framework for my coaching and consulting. Learn more here.

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Name Your Story [Seer Crawl day 17]

A thought to ponder: a slow read through THE SEER. Day 17. [all material from the book appears in italics]:

Reading the story of Parcival as a boy, I couldn’t imagine not knowing my name. I was intrigued by the part in the story when the woman comes out of the forest and tells Parcival his name. In a single stroke, in one simple word, she names him and in his mind he transforms from being a generic role, “Dear Son,” to someone specific with a name, “Parcival.” His whole world turned on one simple word. And then, BAM! Before he could fully inhabit his new name she tacked on a label: “the Unfortunate.” He would forever see his life through the eyes of that simple phrase, the Unfortunate.

When my business collapsed my friends said things like, “It’s a stroke of bad luck!” or “Not your fault!” or “The next one will be the charm.” It was exactly the same stuff they told me the last time my business failed. And, I believed it! It was a stroke of bad luck. It wasn’t my fault. There is a charm out there somewhere and if I keep looking I will find it. So, my success was dependent upon a charm and had nothing to do with my hard work. BAM! Suddenly I too, was “the Unfortunate.”

Perhaps Virgil was not delusional after all. When I started listening to how I named my story I saw that I was the one who was delusional. Maybe there was a layer beneath problems and patterns that he was trying to get me to see.

I pulled up our last chat sequence and read it. My mouth dropped open when I read what I’d written about looking for patterns:

Me: …I saw relationships between things. I saw how things were shaped…. I saw how things could be improved. I was seeing through different eyes.

Instead of trying to solve for a problem, what if I had eyes that could see how things were patterned so I could clearly see how they might be improved?

The Seer’s 9 Recognitions serve as the framework for my coaching, teaching, and consulting.  Learn more here

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