Your thought to ponder for today: a slow read through THE SEER. Day 26. [all material from the book appears in italics]:
18.
I sat staring at my screen for several minutes after he signed off. I felt admonished for my sarcasm, as though he’d sent me to bed with no supper. What was the big deal?
If I embrace the notion that my language matters then his point was obvious wasn’t it? If my story was not something I get then it must be something I tell. Or give?
It was starting to dawn on me that there was a deeper pattern that he was trying to get me to see. There was a good reason why he had no patience for my sarcasm. When I used the words “I only get one story” I allow myself to believe that someone else gives me my story. If someone else gives me my story then I am never responsible for what happens. I am not to blame. On the other hand, when I switch a single word and say, “I only tell one story” then no one else is to blame. No one else is responsible for my story.
I can choose to be a victim. Or I can choose to be a creator. The difference is the story I tell.
The deeper pattern was one of responsibility. The deeper pattern was about ownership. It is why he asked me to begin by discerning between problems and patterns. Problems happen to me; patterns are something I create. I can change the pattern.
I learned that what I name things either opens my eyes or blinds me to what’s possible – and the only difference is the language I choose. I choose it. It doesn’t happen to me. My language matters because it defines the story I tell.
So, my story is not given to me. I am telling myself a story. I used the phrase, “The story of my life” to imply that I have an uncontrollable pattern and my pattern is to miss business opportunities. Now, I see the phrase in a different way: The story of my life is a story that I tell.
I did not miss an opportunity with the director of the student services center. I helped her see what she could not see. I did for her what Virgil was doing for me. I didn’t drop answers on her or provide clever and expensive yet unnecessary solutions. I simply asked her a question. I am in a service industry and I served her need, not my need.
The process is the same in life as it is in business. More on coaching, teaching, consulting using The Seer
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